Do you tell yourself that you are lazy or not good enough?
When you are moving towards your dreams is your inner voice telling you to not bother trying because you are never going to get there anyway?
Let's be brutally honest and real for a moment...
If our friends said to us what we say to ourselves in our minds, they wouldn't be our friends for very long.
Our friends are smart. First of all, and most importantly, they want us to keep being friends with them. Why? Because we're awesome and they love us! Secondly, on some level, our friends know that criticism is not going to assist us in moving towards our goals.
I'll let you in on a secret. We're friends to people too! We know the aforementioned to be true or we would criticize our friends instead of encouraging them. Deep down we all know criticism without redirection and positive feedback is debilitating to motivation, progress and growth; that's why we don't dish it out to others. Why then do we do we do this to ourselves?
I'm going to hold off on that question as I'm sensing some of you may be thinking that if you let go of that inner critic you will begin to fail. So, I ask now, what have you been accomplishing? Has it been a fun journey along the way, or do you always feel like a failure?
The more you pick on yourself, the worse you feel. The worse you feel, the more difficult it is to accomplish things. The more difficult things are, the worse you feel. Since you feel awful and you are not accomplishing things at a desirable rate you start to pick on yourself more. STOP! Be kind to yourself. In this moment, say to yourself what your most supportive friend would say to you.
Now I’ll revisit the question, why do we do this to ourselves? Because our subconscious learned at a young age that it would work for us. The subconscious is like a dog with a bone; once it's found a good hiding spot, it keeps using it. That's great!
When we were children it worked well, as our greatest challenges were dealing with the alphabet and simple mathematics. Now, we are dealing with mortgages, jobs, taxes, relationships and much more. Forever could be spent on thinking about the “why's”.
Take action now! Every time you notice your inner critic, ask it to help you in a new way and get that subconscious voice to support you. Update its programming. Choose to consciously engage and be 'relentlessly kind and loving' to yourself today and make your inner voice your friend. Choose peace.
Born and raised in Vancouver, Farzana Jaffer Jeraj is an international speaker, author, and Hypnotherapist. Farzana believes that every client has an inner wisdom and creative ability to heal themselves.